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3 Tips for English Language Speaking Confidence

  • June 13, 2023

Even if you don't have anxiety, speaking in a foreign language can be scary

I know there are some seemingly fearless folks out there when it comes to speaking English. In fact, I’ve met some and I’ve taught some. (And now I’m thinking I should ask them if they were ever scared to speak or if they were always as confident as they seem…)

Nevertheless, it’s more common that people are scared to speak English when it is their second language. They want to be understood, they want to understand others, and most of all—they don’t want to sound dumb. But anticipating the worst in these scenarios is what keeps you stuck and holds you back from ever having confident conversations in English with native speakers.

This is something I’ve struggled with in every language I’ve learned. For example, in high school when I studied American Sign Language (ASL), we’d go to what was called “Deaf Coffee”. Deaf Coffee was a weekly event where lots of people from the Deaf community would get together at a coffee shop, chat, and hang out. They also knew we’d be coming to practice our ASL by joining in their conversations.

But even though I got great grades, loved ASL, felt comfortable signing, and my ASL teacher even told me I was one of the best in the class—I still was always terrified to sign with someone who was Deaf. Not because they were scary or rude, but because I was scared that I wouldn’t understand them or be understood. But as soon as I would start signing with everyone, I instantly felt more comfortable and realized my fears were pretty irrational. Not only did people not judge me when I made mistakes, but they would also help me out in a completely kind way that seemed to say,

"Thank you so much for putting in the effort to learn my language". 

Although I become more and more comfortable talking in ASL over time, unfortunately, that fear followed me when I started studying French and Spanish. In fact, in the beginning, when I first arrived on my study abroad in France, I was so nervous to speak that when I would take my (almost) daily trip to the boulangerie, I would quickly recite one of the only phrases I knew for sure was correct and then hand the baker way more money than was necessary for my pastry, because I was too embarrassed to admit that I wouldn’t understand the amount they told me it was and I didn’t know how to ask for clarification.

I’d then watch as they would look at me, and then look down at the number of euros I handed them, and then slowly count out my change back to me. As soon as they were done, I’d swiftly take my change and mouth-watering pastry and briskly leave with my head down after saying a quick “merci”.

Oh, and for those that are curious that famous line I had memorized was this:

"Je voudrais un pain au chocolat, si vous plait."

For those of you that don’t speak French, the English translation for that request is “I would like a pain au chocolat, please.” And if you haven’t had a pain au chocolat, essentially it’s a croissant with chocolate and objectively one of the most delicious foods on planet Earth.

(You’ll just have to trust me on that. Oh, and if you ever get offered one, take my advice and just hand the person your money, and don’t ask questions. You’ll thank me later.)

But anyway, after that vital interjection, I want you to know that I did end up getting past my fear, which made it a LOT easier to enjoy my study abroad and get the most out of my experience.

In this video, I talk about my journey to overcoming my French-speaking fears and give you 3 tips to help you speak English with confidence. 

After you watch this video, there is one question I want you to consider.

"What is the worst that could happen?"

Seriously. When it comes to being scared to speak English, it can be easy to fall into the trap of avoiding conversations at all costs in order to protect ourselves. But we can’t become confident when having conversations if we don’t actually have conversations. So here is something I wish someone would have told me when I first started learning languages:

You are not alone. Everyone gets scared sometimes (especially when speaking in a foreign language). It’s OK to be scared, but in order to leave “scared” you in the past, the only way out—is through.

Now, let’s break these language-speaking barriers together once and for all! Let me know in the comments below what the hardest part about speaking in English is for you, and let’s demolish these fears together like we’re taking out a wall between the kitchen and the living room in a home renovation reality tv show.

—M

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